When the World Feels Too Much: Choosing Your Response
- Dr Masi
- Dec 24, 2025
- 6 min read
Now and again, something shocks and deeply touches our hearts.
As a Sydneysider this year, it was the Bondi shootings. As a mother, what particularly touched my heart was the young 10-year-old girl, Matilda, who was killed in this senseless crime. I cannot fathom the immeasurable grief her family – especially her mother, father and siblings – are experiencing. A time that should have been for celebrating Hanukkah has now become a time of suffering.
In moments like this, we look for answers and ways to cope, to keep moving forward.
Turning to Viktor Frankl for Meaning
On my bedside table, I have Viktor Frankl’s book Embracing Hope. When things get tough, I like to lean into his wisdom. He endured immense suffering in the Nazi concentration camps.
As the news from Bondi unfolded, I picked up his book, looking for answers to the questions running through my head. I found myself wondering, “What’s the point of life? What’s the purpose of all this?”
The book opened to a page in a chapter titled “Ways of Finding Meaning”, where Viktor Frankl explains that we can find meaning in life in three ways: “through work” (what we do and create), “through love”, and “potentially through suffering” (the attitude we take towards unavoidable suffering).
As I reflected on these words, I found myself quietly swapping the word meaning for purpose, and I wondered whether what we call “purpose” is actually a process of finding meaning in these ways, rather than a single endpoint.
What I Heard from Friends and Community
In speaking to my Jewish relatives and friends – many of whom knew someone who was killed or injured – I realised that not only are there so many questions of “why?”, there is also so much anger, grief and fear.
When I asked, “How are you coping? And how is the Jewish community responding?”, they told me about people comforting each other in grief, whispering words of encouragement, and offering financial support to affected families.
I kept pondering, “What can I do to help?” It’s taken a while to come up with an answer.
One way I can help Matilda’s mother and other grieving families is by doing my best to make the world a better place in the spaces I touch. It’s in regular acts of kindness, or standing up to speak out against something that is not right.
Between Stimulus and Response: Our Place of Power
What I want to share with you is that, in life, we cannot control our circumstances, but we can always choose how we will respond.
One of my favourite guiding quotes, often attributed to Viktor Frankl, says:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Even in the Nazi concentration camps, where he did not choose his circumstances, Frankl had the one thing no one could take from him – he could always make a conscious choice how to respond.
We too have the power to choose what we think, how we feel and how we respond. And in choosing our responses, we can reflect on Dr Maya Angelou’s wise words:
“People will forget what you did,people will forget what you said,but they'll never forget how you made them feel.”
In a world where we can't control our circumstances, we can choose how we respond – and from our responses, people will remember how we made them feel.
When Emotions Run High: How Do We Choose Well?
It’s one thing to say “choose your response” and another thing to actually do it when you’re flooded with emotion – angry, scared, heartbroken or all three.
Imagine or remember a time when someone cut you off in traffic, pushed in line, sent a hurtful message, or your child answered you back “rudely”. In such heated situations, your nervous system would have switched into high alert, preparing you to fight, take flight or freeze. So, although these were mildly stressful stimuli, you might have found it much harder to access that calm, wise part of your brain that makes good choices. So what can we do when our emotions run high?
I want to share with you an exercise I use to calm my emotions so I can think more clearly and, hopefully, make better choices.
A Simple Exercise to Calm Your Emotions and Think Clearly
This is an exercise I come back to when my emotions feel big and threaten to engulf my "sensible self". You, too, may find this exercise helps you clear your thoughts before the “cloud” of emotion rapidly rises and consumes you. You see, when that cloud disperses a little, we can think more clearly. And when we think more clearly, we can make better choices.
The best way to have this exercise available when you need it most (in intensely provocative emotional situations) is to practise it in small (milder) moments. That's because when we are less emotionally charged, we learn quicker and retrieve stored knowledge more easily.
Now fear not, you don't need a partner to role-play this exercise because everyday life gifts us with many opportunities to practise. Like when someone cuts you off in traffic, pushes in line, or when your child answers you back again.
1. Pause and breathe
Physically pause. Take a few slow, deep breaths. As you slow your breathing down, you'll notice your racing thoughts gently slow and become focused. Just notice what you’re thinking, for example:
“How could they do such a terrible thing?”
“Why did they do that?”
You’re not trying to fix the thoughts – just notice them.
2. Name what you’re feeling
Next, name what you’re feeling.
“I feel angry.”
“I feel scared.”
“I feel sad.”
“I feel numb.”
Putting a simple label helps bring distance between you and the emotion, so you realise it's something you’re experiencing, not a part of you.
3. Scan your body
Notice where and how the emotion feels in your body by doing a brief body scan from head to toe. Are you furrowing your brow? Clenching your teeth? Tensing your shoulders? Is there pressure in your chest or a knot in your stomach?
4. Acknowledge and release
Acknowledge and accept that it’s okay to feel this way.
Then bring awareness to the area of your body where you feel the tension or discomfort – the physical manifestation of how you feel. Slowly take deep breaths and focus on that area, releasing the tension with each exhale. As you release the physical tension, you’ll often notice a slow release in the emotional intensity, too.
Sometimes, simply by noticing, naming, acknowledging and accepting what we are feeling – and sitting with that feeling for a few minutes – we can reduce the intense grip a strong emotion has on us. This simple action can help us think more clearly and feel less overwhelmed.
Some people worry that being less angry or less emotionally fired up means that we don’t care. That is not the case. Being less emotional doesn't mean that we care any less – it just means we don’t let our emotions completely cloud our thoughts and blind us to our actions.
Instead, calming our emotions helps us think clearly and choose responses we’ll feel more at peace with later.
A Gentle Wish for You This Christmas
What strategy do you use to make better choices when emotions are running high?
I’d love you to share below so we can all learn and grow together.
Wishing you and your loved ones a Merry and Safe Christmas!
And as always, I wish you good health, happiness and success!
Dr. Masi
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Disclaimer: The content in this article, newsletter and related posts is for informational purposes only and not medical advice. Views expressed are those of Dr. Masi Njawaya and Herself Health and not any official organisation. Consult a healthcare professional for personalised advice. Use this information at your own risk.
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